Saturday, July 31, 2010
Emotional Phantom Pains
Something strange happens to a woman when they become pregnant. They start growing another individual in their body but somehow their body doesn't recognise this individual as a unique entity. It doesn't try to reject the foetus. It sees it as a part of itself. At birth the one entity becomes two but, although the umbilical cord has been cut, there is always going to be a bond.
This week I felt this bond really strongly to my second-born. A few months ago I blogged about how he'd broken up with his girlfriend of over 3 years and how he was struggling. The struggle has continued with up and down days but this week the downs were devastatingly low. It came to a head on Thursday and I ended up taking him to the doctor. He's now on anti-depressants and will be seeing a counsellor.
My body's reaction to this was instantaneous. It was like his pain was my pain and it made me think of the phantom pains that amputees get. It was an emotional phantom pain.
Seeing the doctor was wonderful. She was really supportive and made both Josh and I optimistic that she could make a plan to help. For me it was knowing that I was sharing the burden with someone else that really made a difference.
My week hasn't been all hard, though. Work has gone really well and I've taken the plunge and registered for the Melbourne Marathon plus I had a really good 16k run yesterday. I'm just having to focus on the positives at the moment and we'll all get through in the end.