Fears and Phobias

My niece is getting married in four weeks. Planning is well under way. The dress and shoes have been chosen. The venue has been booked and the caterers organised. Her littlest flower girl (her 10 month old daughter) has even learnt how to walk for the big occasion. It's the first wedding of this generation of our family and I should be excited. But I'm not. I have a huge mountain to climb before I can let excitement set in. And this mountain is freaking me out. I have to find something to wear.

Those who've been reading my blog for a while know how I feel about shopping for clothes. I hate it. I abhor it. I have a fear that borders on phobia. I'm irrational and unreasonable and I'd rather run a marathon than try on a dress in a tiny fitting room with cruel and unusual lighting and mirrors that are only a meter away from your every figure flaw. I've been known to go out shopping for a dress and come home with two pair of running shorts.

But I have to get something. My wardrobe is woefully inadequate - consisting of running gear, jeans, t shirts and singlets and a couple of ten year old skirts. My newest non-running purchase is a denim skirt which I've worn almost constantly since I bought it. It's cool and comfortable and totally NOT stylish. Nicky's wedding is having a cocktail reception so I kinda have to make a little effort.

So Thursday I decided that I needed to make a start. I had about 90 minutes before I had to be home to see clients. I had my Mum and sister as moral support. There was never a better time. First up we hit Harts. It's a shop that I've never been into before. It's filled with formal wear that all looks a bit the same. We were immediately set upon by a matronly sales assistant with perfectly coiffed hair to go with her perfectly coiffed attitude. I'm sure the well-worn denim skirt told her that I wasn't her normal customer but a sale is a sale and she tried to help. I found a dress that I thought would be a good shape on me. It was covered with beads and sequins and feathers and I hated it but I wanted to see if the shape was good. So I tried it on. The shape was good and I went to show my Mum and sister by opening the curtain up a crack when it was yanked open by the formerly mentioned assistant and suddenly I had an audience. Man, I love being way out of my comfort zone with and being exposed to the world.

We headed off to Myers and foraged around unsuccessfully then off to yet another shop where a poor young sales assistant tried to help. She obviously didn't understand that if I wanted to wear a t shirt to a cocktail party I'd choose one of my own. And she had no idea that when I said I didn't look good in neutral colours that cream was included in that palette. Luckily time ran out before I could hit any other shops. Ninety minutes down and I am still no closer. I decided that it might be simpler to just make something - and then I get three new team orders for work and they're all due in April. I won't be making anything!

So today I'm off to hit the shops again. Oh, and I've been up since three because my back's gone into spasm again so it should be as much fun as Thursday's expedition. Oh why can't there be a dress fairy that just comes to your house in the dark of night and leave THE perfect dress in your wardrobe?!!

BUT on the up side. I was totally demoralised after my run/walk yesterday. I know it's not sounding like the upside yet - just bear with me for a moment.  I ran 6 of the 10k and managed a full kilometre. But I didn't keep an eye on my heart rate and when I got home I saw that I'd let it get higher than I should. I was running a bit by feel and it honestly didn't feel that bad but by the evening I felt pretty awful. I walked this morning (no running because my back hurt way too much) - the same route that I've done every Sunday for the last 5 weeks. Last time I fully walked it was four weeks ago - today I walked it 8 minutes faster and my average heart rate was 8 beats slower. That's significant improvement and I'm really excited.