There are certain situations in life that make you feel uncomfortable.
My son, Luke, had one of these last week. He's had his driver's license for all of 2 weeks and he'd gone to his girlfriend's place for dinner - driving there for the first time.(side note - we are now off the hook as far as driving him and picking him up. Now we just have to wait up and wonder if he's going to get home safely. Not sure which is better/worse.) They decided to go to McDonalds after dinner and pick up an ice cream then they parked in a nearby parking lot to eat it. They'd only been there a few minutes when a car screamed into the parking lot and pulled up next to them. It was the police!
Immediately Luke went through this thought process -
I haven't done anything wrong.
Well, I don't think I've done anything wrong.
Maybe I DID do something wrong.
Oh, crap, what did I do wrong?!!
He hadn't done anything. They were just doing random checks. But isn't it funny how we quickly jump to the guilty conclusion?
And I had my own 'out of my comfort zone' experience this week. I had to go to the doctor to have a PAP smear. (Don't we all just love having these done?) When I was making the appointment it was hard to know which doctor to ask for. Do I ask for a doctor I've never had and will never have again? Or do I ask for the doctor I really like? Shouldn't I spare her from the procedure because I like her?
I did end up with my favourite and she told me that the patient feels way worse about it than the practitioner. It doesn't bother them at all. Just as well I didn't become a doctor because I'm sure it would bother me. But even though I really like her I was so uptight about going. My heart rate was up. I was sweating. And this was before I even got into the room. I was terrified she was going to take my blood pressure because I knew it would be up. I could feel it going up every time I thought about having it done.
But it's all done now - and I should be right for another 2 years till I have to have it done again. And once the procedure was done we had a very nice consult. She's pretty sure that the ridiculous pains I have every month are endometriosis and she's put me on the pill to help regulate it. I'm not sure if I'm going to persist though because it's making me really nauseated for a lot of the day. I'll give it a couple of weeks to see if I adjust.
Sunday's going to be another uncomfortable day. It's my Mum and Dad's golden wedding anniversary and they're having an afternoon tea to celebrate. After everything that's happened, I'm really not sure how it's going to go. The only thing that I'm sure of is that the food will be good. All the hurt is still too raw for anyone to really celebrate a strong, happy marriage.
So in preparation for a potentially stressful weekend, I had my massage today. And I've booked in for another in a month's time. See I am looking after myself!