Monday, March 14, 2011
Childhood Bucket Lists
I've hit 48! When I was a kid I only ever thought as far as 37 because that's how old I'd be in the year 2000. It's almost like the year 2000 would come and that's the end of the world - well it was to my pre-pubescent brain. So the year 2000 has come and is now a distant memory and so is being 37 years old.
So how does it feel to be 48? With age has come wisdom. There's been a dawning realization over the last decade that there are some things that I'll never do. I will never get to be in the Olympics. I may get to spectate but I'll never compete and that was high on my 'must do' things when I was 12. And you know I'm good with that. I've made peace with that unrealized goal.
I will never be a beauty queen. Again it was on a very early bucket list (probably written in crayon and misspelt) I REALLY wanted one of those sparkly tiaras. But I'm in a place now that if I HAVE to have one I can buy it myself - always assuming the opportunity to wear one arises. Let's face it, I'd have hated to be up on stage with all those people looking at me anyway.
I will never be a concert pianist. I took lessons for many years but was a poorly disciplined practicer with uncooperative fingers. Yes I mastered the Minute Waltz (Chopin) but my waltz took the scenic route. And I only ever managed the first two pages of Claire de Lune.
I will never own a horse or win a show-jumping competition. Yes, I was one of those girls that lived a breathed horses. I had pictures, statues, books and big dreams. I asked for a horse every birthday and Christmas for years. Again, I'm at peace with my lack of a pony - it wouldn't fit in our yard anyway.
I will never have a daughter. Sure I might be able to push out another baby - but I'm not going to open 'them can of worms.' I'm actually relieved that I have sons. There is no-one else in the house who gets to use the PMS excuse. Makes me special. And I will have daughters-in-law ... one day.
My life, thus far has been good and that's how I can look back on these kiddy dreams with no regrets. I have a husband, three lovely sons, my dogs, my parents, my sisters and their families, lots of friends, good health, a thriving business which satisfies my creative urges and I have my health. I am blessed.
I did have a nice birthday. Thanks all for your wishes. I was a bit tired after working so hard the fortnight before but I got the chance to rest and relax. AND the party's not over yet. I've got breakfast out every day this week bar two with different friends. Friday's will be especially good as Karen from Canberra will be coming back for a visit - it'll be brekky and a talk-fest.
And my running has not been forgotten. Speed session today. 5 x 1k repeats @ 4:42, 4:37, 4:47, 4:47 and 4:50. I'm still having issues with keeping energy levels all through the session. The first repeat felt so easy but after the third I needed a longer rest. But I'm convinced that it is improving.