Thursday, March 17, 2011
My Mum's and my relationship has reached an all-time low. Yes, it's been a bit rocky over the last couple of years but nowhere as bad as it's gotten.
We've started to play Scrabble together over our iPhones!! I know that makes us total nerds but I've admitted to my nerd-dom many times and am quite comfortable with it. Mum is 73 so the fact that she can even use apps on her phone makes her a techno-genius and mega-nerd. (The fruit doesn't fall far from the tree)
Anyway it started off nicely. I kept whooping her arse and she accepted defeat gracefully but she's learnt a few tricks which include weird two-letter words and words where Q is not followed by U and she'd started to turn the tables on me. So I have resorted to taunting her ('Read that and weep!') to put her off her game.
But the all-time low came just last week. I could only find one decent word to use. It was the only word that would get me back into the game. It was on a triple word score. But it was a naughty word.
My Mum is a very religious woman. She goes to church every Sunday. Hosts bible studies at her home. Plays piano for the hymns and prays for anyone who needs praying for. She protected our young minds from anything sinful, even to the point of blacking out swear words in novels (James Herriot lived in the Dales countryside and not one single farmer swore but sometimes the storyline didn't make a lot of sense)
So with that background, you can gasp in horror when I tell you that the word I used was WANK.
I was actually hoping that she wouldn't know the meaning of it. There's been instances in our lives where bad words have been said without consequence because of Mum's naivety. But in this instance I'm fairly certain that she knew what it meant because the next word she played was PORN.
I have sullied my Mother. I'm going to hell!!