Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Kids And the S-Word
There comes to a point in every parent's life when the inevitable happens. You realise that your baby is getting up close and personal with the opposite sex. In my day, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, you waited (or pretended to wait) until you were married or at the very least engaged. But waiting seems to be a thing of the distant past and a lot of parents are incredibly grateful if their kids have left high school before it happens.
Back in my day we also were very private about things like that. My parents still have no idea when I lost my virginity. It just wasn't spoken of. I don't know if it's boys or if it's just my boys, but I have had a pretty good idea that they have become sexually active fairly soon after the event. So when it happens, as a good parent, I was compelled to have THAT conversation - not about the birds and the bees, but about sexual health, effective contraception and respect. Oh man! I was never equipped for conversations like that but Iven is even worse so the buck stopped with me.
I finally had to have THAT conversation with my youngest baby not long ago. He's out of high school and been with his girlfriend for over a year so I suppose it was inevitable. But once the facts are out, you get thrown other curve balls like "can my girlfriend sleep over?"
The only reason I'm writing about this is because I was totally unprepared for this when it happened and I figured if I throw it out into cyber-space there may be someone else like me who hasn't given it a thought and my post triggers a little forethought on the topic.
Iven and I decided that if they were already sleeping together they were probably not going to stop so we have allowed it with certain guidelines. They have to be in a relationship for some time and the girl is not allowed to sleep over more than twice a week and this has worked fairly well. But I'm thinking of changing the rules for Luke's girlfriend. She stayed over last night and as far as I'm concerned she can stay over every night. I walked past his room after they had left and it is sooo clean! The bed is beautifully made and the floor is clutter-free. I don't know about Luke, but I'm in love!