The first came from son Luke. We were sitting watching the Olympics the other night and he let one rip. Yes, I know you're all shocked - not that a teenage boy farted, but that we were watching the Olympics again! And being a teenage boy with his girlfriend next to him he couldn't really admit to being so uncouth so he blamed it on the dog. The dog that we had put down over three months ago! Poor Nelson is still copping the blame. Needless to say neither Becky or I were fooled.
The second story comes from the nether regions of my oldest son. (Yes, I know that you're all shocked again. Boys still fart loudly and laugh into their mid-20s). He was lying on my bed where I was reading, telling me about his day (a little aside here - they always wait until you're engrossed in a book or just about to drop off to sleep to decide to have a little chat). Toby wanted to be included but the presence of Sam lying across the end of the bed made it hard to jump aboard so he just had his front legs up. This meant that his head was so close to the end furthest from Sam's face. Sam let out a long loud one which left Toby confused and bemused. His eyes opened wide. His ears came forward and his forehead wrinkled in puzzlement.
To further investigate he did what all dogs do - he used his nose. A few sniffs at ground zero was enough to make him jump down quickly and leave the room. And I did what all mothers do when the fruit of their loins scare off the dog with a fart. I laughed so hard that tears rolled down my cheeks. It was that ugly out of control laughing which is probably the reason that my children are so uncouth.
***
I was back at running yesterday. The cold is almost gone - just a residual cough when the air's cold and a bit of a runny nose. It was Tuesday speed session but I just did my own thing - a slow 3.7k loop to reach the group, a little chat with Coach Chris, then another slow loop around the uni lake.
It's starting to get a little lighter in the morning, even if it's not getting any warmer yet. The ducks were just starting to wake up and take to the water. The sun was making the sky multi-coloured. The air was crisp and clear. And I was filled with a wonderful sense of peace. There's something about being out there that makes everything right with the world.
And that's why I run.
Love the paragraph on running. I don't get that feeling often enough but when I do...........!
ReplyDeleteI fart a lot. Tell your son he can say, "It's Mom's WWF friend, in America next time.
Thanks for the good laughs.
ReplyDeleteOur dog has worse gas than I've ever seen from a human.
Getting lighter for you in the mornings and darker for me :(.
ReplyDeleteYou make me laugh...seriously fun stuff. My daughter said the other day, "remember when you made me call farts "toots" in school? You are such a prude!" Yeh, I think I've giving her up for adoption.
Ah yes, the feeling of a lovely run on a beautiful early morning really is one of the most special experiences. Can't say the same about the farts - your post went from the ridiculous to the sublime!
ReplyDeleteThank goodness you are able to get out for a run and get some fresh air - LOL! I can totally relate to all the farting - got a lot going on around here, too... Hopefully it won't scare off any nice prospective daughters-in-law, when the time comes...
ReplyDeleteIt must be sons, my son is lethal, in Olympic terms, he can easily achieve Gold in the Passing of Gas Competitions!
ReplyDeletePoor Nelson, still taking the blame for the farts! OMG, I was laughing so hard at this post, thanks for that!
ReplyDeleteAnd of course I'm glad you're feeling better, too. :)
As the mom of two teenage sons, I feel your pain and your laughter :) And I kept waiting to read that you farted on your run, and then read your beautiful sentiment - yes, the joy of running. Nice.
ReplyDeleteI'm still whispering :)
ReplyDeleteWhat is it about men and farting....really :)
Steve definitely scares the dog, no two ways about it!
Glad you've been able to get back to running, and just in time for some extra daylight in the mornings. (Opposite is happening here - sad!!)
ReplyDeleteLove a good fart story, and Toby's reaction is priceless!
Somehow I married a man who is extremely couth and I'm the uncouth one between the two of us! I don't even try to blame my farts on the dog because my husband knows better. But he is definitely the exception to the rule.
ReplyDeleteWay to go on running! Slow and steady, and just keep plugging away.