I found out this week why Josh had such a tough time on my Melbourne weekend away. About a month ago he went off his anti-depressants. He did it by himself, without his doctor's knowledge and he did it cold-turkey. My vet training didn't give me any education on anti-depressants so I had no idea that going off them cold-turkey is a big no no. When you're on them they provide all the serotonin your brain needs to keep it happy and they do it so well that your body decides that it doesn't have to make so much of its own any more. So as the levels drop in your brain you start to feel worse and worse and this can take a few weeks. Josh's bottomed out on the weekend we went away.
He went straight back on them once I got home but it'll be a couple more weeks until his serotonin levels get back to a good level so until then he's still not in a really happy place - he's not as bad as he was but not as good as he could be. And he has to deal with the fall-out of that weekend - a broken hand from punching a wall. I'd like to add at this point that Josh isn't the first of my sons to have punched a wall. Sam did it some years back after a relationship break-up. But Sam hit a wall that wasn't as strong as his fist. Josh wasn't so discerning. Plus Josh has a high pain threshold and didn't know it was broken until I told him that I thought it was.
This has resulted in two hospital visits. (The Australian system is not very efficient so we spent four hours waiting the first time and three hours when he had an appointment) When he was there at the second visit they couldn't decide if they wanted to plate it or not (Honestly the janitor that cleaned the toilets could probably see that it needed some form of internal fixation) so we've only just heard that he's to be operated on next Monday ... maybe. We get the joy of going to the hospital at 6:30 am to wait all day and maybe be bumped out of queue by a trauma that happens on the weekend. And if that happens we'll have to do it all over again. It's going to be a long week.
My stress levels have gone through the roof. Probably because I am a stress-head and always have been. And my running has tanked. This morning's session was incredibly hard - just a 12k run but I hardly made it and I walked up a hill. I know it'll come back but for now I just have to ease back and run gently.
But my silver lining on all these clouds are my wonderful friends. Yesterday I got to visit Jenny (Tuesday breakfast/running) who's just had a back operation and that was lovely. In the afternoon I got to chat with Natalie (Saturday walking/coffee). I had a test conversation with Karen who is up in Brisbane from Canberra and wanted to run with us today - seriously Karen that run made my week. Thanks for staying with my slow self. And I chatted with coach Chris about important matters of state.
And I finally got to use my new electric mixer! Is it wrong to love an electric appliance more than your spouse? IT IS AMAZING - just ask all the running squad that got to sample the first harvest from my beautiful, shiny new friend.
And best of all my computer is working again. I haven't done anything to it. It just decided there was life in the old boy still.
So although life has been a little tough I'm still chugging along and I can still manage a smile.