Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Don't Mess With Me

I had an interrupted night two nights ago.

Iven was re-enacting the Texas Chainsaw massacre in the bed next to me but without any blood or killing. Just sound - no pictures. I'd been asleep for only an hour and half and no amount of prodding was effective in getting him to roll onto his side.

So I did what any marathoner-in-training-who-needs-their-sleep would do. I crankily picked up my pillow, stomped out of the room and walked down the hall to the only spare bed in the house (that's only spare because #3 son is house-sitting).

It was NOT FUN having to warm up another bed. And it was NOT FUN remembering that #3 son hadn't changed his sheets probably since the last time I changed his sheets because I couldn't stand their mankiness. That would have been over two months ago and I was pretty sure that the white sheets were no longer white. And that they may have had microscopic things crawling in there eating my dead skin cells. Exfoliation by dust mites isn't a beauty treatment that's particularly desirable.

It took me a long time to get back to sleep.

I finally got up at 7:30 am, feeling a little hungover from broken sleep. Walked up the hall to find our bedroom door shut and when I opened it there it was ... an unmade bed!

I know it's not a big deal in the scheme of things but in our house who-ever gets out of the bed last has to make it. Iven had broken one of the unbreakable rules. And it added insult to injury to have to make it after not being able to sleep in it. And the worst part about it was not being able to vent!

I texted him a very curt message (which he didn't read until he got home from work that afternoon). But that wasn't good enough so I spent the rest of the morning trying to plot my revenge.

I am not very creative in the vengeance department. All I could come up with was tampering with baked goods or re-tuning the TV and making sure his favourite station wasn't there any more.

And then I had a stroke of genius. I completed his puzzles (Sudoku and the crossword) in the paper.

Yeah - that showed him! Don't mess with me cause I'm ruthless with a pen.


  1. Tonight if it happens again kick him out of the bed...

  2. You are so funny!

    When mine snores I give him a push that he has to roll over and then we are good to go (for a while).

    My pet peeve is that every Thursday (and we live there 20 years) there has to be a containter at the road for the garbage truck and the last 20 years I have to remind him EVERY THURSDAY. My gosh: how hard is it to remember that? If I say nothing, it's not happening.

  3. Haha,oh my! A marathoner needs sleep for sure! Luckily we don't have a snoring problem at home. I don't sleep that much but when I do I'm out cold.

  4. Very funny. Love the message that needs to be deleted. My husband is a terrible snorer so I totally love these posts. And he makes the bed but man oh man I have to make it over as it is as if a 5 year old made it.

  5. This is funny because I can totally relate to the chain saw thing - I usually kick him repeatedly until he rolls over (funny when he can't figure out why he has bruises the next day!!).
    The mankiness of those sheets is still grossing me out a bit - if I leave our bed I usually pick a chair or couch over one of the boys' rooms!!!
    I love the way you got your revenge - we have the same rule about the bed in our house!!!

  6. argh, hubs doesn't normally snore but when he out! i also cannot stand an unmade HAS to be made as soon as we get up. it was funny because when i said this to my friends, they all looked at me like i was crazy and said "you make your bed EVERY day?!" i was like "you don't?!?!"

  7. He, he. You are quite wicked! I live with a snorer, too--it can be brutal. Ear plugs help to some degree, as does white noise. Or messing with puzzles after a night like that!

  8. The Caveman has quite a nice suite in the basement he can go to when he's ejected due to snoring, which is often.
    Finished all the puzzles? You are wicked!

  9. That'll teach him not to snore! You showed him!

  10. This is so funny because Michael and I are the WORST sleeper-togetherer's of all time. Some of our biggest arguments are in the middle of the night when we should be sleeping.


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