Anyone Know Of A Good Witness Protection Program?

I'm a little bit late with this post because I've been in hiding.

I've heard some ominous, menacing whisperings that there is a section of the population that wasn't happy with my revelations in my last post. You know - the one about The Code.

Apparently men can get a bit snarky when their secret men's business becomes public knowledge.

I hadn't realised that it would have touched on such a soft spot that men, who I previously thought as gentle, would resort to violence. I was accosted in a car park before speed session on Tuesday morning by a silver-haired assassin. Sure that mock-punch didn't actually hurt but its threat was implied - a little like the kiss of death by the Godfather.

And if that wasn't disturbing enough, I've been getting phone calls. Repeat phone calls where the phone rings and rings and rings and NO ONE LEAVES A MESSAGE. OMG - how scary is that!! 

I'm terrified that someone's leaked my phone number to an Outlaw Motorcycle Gang. Why else would I be getting phone calls with no messages? Well, I guess it could be that someone wanted to order a leotard and actually wanted to talk to a person and not a machine but I'm sure the Outlaw Motorcycle Group is a much more likely option. I'm certain it's only a matter of time before I get abducted by said Outlaw Motorcycle Group and my body is found a week later - battered, bruised and tattooed. 

All I can say is if I'm going to be tortured via tattoo gun for having a blabber-mouth I'd like to request that at least one of the tattoos that I get has a running theme. Preferably making reference to running a marathon. And maybe a tattoo in Chinese characters that says 'The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.' That seems relevant for a marathon runner.

I personally don't understand all the fuss. I thought that it was common knowledge that men liked to perve on attractive looking women. Even unattractive ones when they've got their beer-goggles on. I thought that the fact that they were prepared to suspend their perving privileges for the sake of honour and 'teamsmanship' was showing a level of restraint and principle that was to be admired. Maybe the problem was because it was a mere woman that exposed that there is still integrity within the male of the species. I'm really not sure about the hows and whys - all I know is that I've bruised a few egos.

So that's why I've been in hiding. Except for this morning. Because even people in hiding need to get out for their runs.