Wednesday, July 9, 2014

It's A Little Nipply Outside

I need some help. A little bit of advice.To help out a friend.

I got an email yesterday from a friend who's also a runner. Because of my very lengthy running career, she'd thought I might be able to help with her dilemma.

Her problem? An extreme reaction to cold in certain sensitive areas. Or, put less delicately, nipples that felt like they were going to snap off.

I've had ears that ached because of the cold. And an endlessly running nose. And even sore knees. But never that particular problem. Or maybe I've had the problem and forgotten about it. Because dementia. And because it's been a fair few years since we've had a cold winter.

My first thought was to find a man with good peripheral circulation and fairly long arms to come along for the run with her. The only downside I could see to this solution was the potential for tripping. It was a lot more fun than the ever-practical wind-proof vest - just not sure where you source a warm-handed, long-armed man who likes to run and cup breasts and not get distracted while he's running and cupping breasts.

A little research was in order.

The internet is full of the weird and wonderful. Take, for example, The WineRack. "Better than a boob job and cheaper too." It holds 750ml of fluid in a polyurethane bladder. Fill 'er up with something warm and you could keep those headlights from being on high beam. Plus you'd never have to go thirsty.

But my favourite solution came from our neighbours, the Kiwis. Those New Zealanders are very creative when it comes to making a buck without having to invest too much in materials. When we holidayed there we noticed quite a lot of animals that couldn't out-run cars. There was road-kill everywhere. Some ingenious person decided that it'd be great to scrape up that road-kill and turn it into something practical - like nipple warmers. Because who wouldn't want the skin of a squashed, dead animal nestled against their flesh?

So my question, to all of you runners who live in colder climes, is - how do you keep your nipples from snapping off after a frigid run?


  1. mmmm never had that problem, mine always seem to be at attention but nothing a padded sports bra can't sort out. Wear another layer maybe??

  2. I hand-make my own possum pasties.

  3. How about actual possums? Mere fur is nothing compared to the live, squirming real thing.

    1. Oh, and one more thing. WHERE IS MY POSSUM NIPPLEWARMER GIVEAWAY?

  4. Yes perpetual high beams here but nothing cracking off. Maybe stuff some of those hand/toe warmers in the bra.

  5. HaHa - part of why I will just stick to my treadmill in cold weather!!!

  6. Whoa-whoa-whoa ... you're telling me cold weather causes that???

  7. Ha! Interesting that just layering up doesn't work. My mom knit my dad a penis warmer when he was seriously training as a runner in the depths of a Colorado winter. At least that's how the story goes. Hmm, for her nips, I'd say those hand warmer things you put in ski gloves. but that could get spendy and be an inconvenience. Maybe just layer it up with pads?

  8. Oh, I want one of those wine bra things!

  9. It doesn't get cold enough to need to even wear a t-shirt here in Cape Town so no problem here!

  10. (not) Funny. For guys it's the hot weather running that causes nipple problems.

  11. it's crazy cold here in the winter, but I use the Champion sports bras from Target which are a bit padded and have never had an issue!

  12. Here our cold ... is your warm....
    The only time I had to run through an icy path.... I did it in singlet because my son, who had my running clothes, came late to the start. It happened in Scotland.

  13. I have never heard about that extreme reaction to cold ... maybe, your friend lives in a country which is colder than Italy.
    I'm curious to know wheather she find a long-armed man :)
    Have a nice weekend!

  14. Road kill nipple warmers - now I've seen it all! Ha ha! Hilarious! :) I think the long armed man (especially if he looks like George Clooney) to be a much more attractive solution.

    Seriously, my guess is she will adapt at some point. Sounds like the "chafing" element is contributing to the temperature discomfort. Hope she finds a solution.

  15. My first husband used to put bandaids on his nipples to stop them getting sore (when running I mean). Does that work for girls?


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