Guilt Free

I ditched this morning's run. I say that quite unashamedly because yesterday was one of THOSE days. It was a day where I was up before dawn and still going after 11 pm.

It was hills yesterday and my body's still not feeling the love as far as hills go. Worse - it was Channel 9 hills, where we meet at the top of the mountain so there's nowhere to go but down which means we have to finish running up. There's a particularly nasty trail that Coach Chris loves (and the squad hates) which he always finishes with. For the whole of this year I have not made it to the top without walking. But yesterday I ran EVERY SINGLE STEP all the way to the top. Yes, some of it might have looked like I was barely moving but I made it!

Josh and I had two doctor's visits to make yesterday. The first was a re-visit with last week's GP to check on how things were going and to do a bit of paperwork. The second was with the Psychologist. Josh wanted me there for moral support which allowed me to see exactly what was going on. I was really impressed with her. She was encouraging, insightful and has given Josh a lot of perspective already (and some homework). I'm really confident that this is going to make a huge amount of difference to him. Thank you all for your support and encouragement.

And to round off an already packed day ( I managed to also do the groceries, catch up with my Mum for a coffee and get some work done), Iven and I had to take Luke to a band competition. His school's band had made it into the State finals of Fanfare. One of only 5 schools out of 723 from across the state. The music was amazing - especially when you realise that the band members are only teenagers. But although the music was incredible, I just couldn't relax and enjoy it. All I could think about was my sore, tired legs (from hills) and how sitting cramped for three and a half hours was not good recovery. I also found myself doing that thing that I do when I run - letting my mind just flit. I spent hours thinking about whose pants were too short and how that girl wearing the ridiculously high heels had a very awkward pelvic tilt and why can't teenage girls see their school's name on a screen without screaming. Was I too tired? Probably.

So if I was too tired last night, than I'm even worse today (thanks Bubbles for waking me up at 3:00) Already I've tried to use the car's remote control to open my house and I've given the wrong card to the health insurance lady just because it was green. So that's why I didn't run today and why I feel no guilt whatsoever.