Thursday, October 30, 2014

Think Before You Speak

I think dementia is finally starting to take hold.

Some amongst you would argue that that ship had sailed quite a few years ago. But while I can still find my keys and remember exactly why I went into a particular room (even though that memory may need prompting by leaving the room and going back to where I had the original thought), I cling to the tenuous hope that all is still well with my grey matter.

I was reading the other day that dementia can shorten the attention span. Well, mine is approaching that of a scrub turkey. Which is better than a gnat but way worse than an elephant. I get distracted by lots of things. Pretty lights. Pretty music. Pretty men. All the usual things.

This morning I was having a conversation with my husband and my #2 son. About important world issues. Like Zombie apocolypses (apocolypsi?). And vampires. And what exactly is the difference between a zombie and a vampire? According to son #2 a zombie can see itself in a mirror. According to #1 husband a zombie is dead and a vampire is immortal. And the fact that I can still remember both of these salient points is proof positive that I still have control of some of my faculties.

Anyway, in the midst of this conversation I became distracted. By Toby. Who's been having another bout of itchy skin. And is now relegated to the bucket. Again.

And that's when I said something that no mother in a household full of adult males should ever say.

"I want to have a look at your scrotum."

The look on #2 son's face was priceless. The look on #1 husband's face was hopeful. The look on Toby's face was full of dread.

Need to remember not to act like someone who's had a frontal lobotomy.

PS - Toby's scrotum will be fine with a lot of TLC. And in the meanwhile the Cone of Shame acts as a handy bug catcher.


  1. HaHa - I can't even imagine saying "I'm going to check your scrotum" without the too clearing!!!

  2. So in keeping with the title of your blog, I guess this event happened at say 36km in an undertrained marathon of life...

  3. Third last paragraph had me spraying my coffee everywhere. Lol. Poor Toby :)

  4. Oh dear, poor Toby! And I'm not surprised at the things you say anymore - but I am impressed at your being able to explain the difference between vampires and zombies, I've still got to get to that level of the motherhood game...

  5. You do get a bigger and better class of bug down under - what the hell is that thing?! Wow.

  6. One of those statements not to make out loud! Too funny.

  7. I'm more concerned that you use the word scrotum enough that Toby knows what it means.... ;-)

  8. Gosh, you need to get that checked out.

    Your poor boys. They ought to be used to you by now after three decades. Poor Toby! Cone of Shame again!

  9. All the best to Toby. Interesting discussion about vampires and zombies. I have to ask for the opinion of an expert: my grandson. I will let you know.....

  10. I had to giggle, but pray Toby is ok!!


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