Thursday, October 30, 2014

Think Before You Speak

I think dementia is finally starting to take hold.

Some amongst you would argue that that ship had sailed quite a few years ago. But while I can still find my keys and remember exactly why I went into a particular room (even though that memory may need prompting by leaving the room and going back to where I had the original thought), I cling to the tenuous hope that all is still well with my grey matter.

I was reading the other day that dementia can shorten the attention span. Well, mine is approaching that of a scrub turkey. Which is better than a gnat but way worse than an elephant. I get distracted by lots of things. Pretty lights. Pretty music. Pretty men. All the usual things.

This morning I was having a conversation with my husband and my #2 son. About important world issues. Like Zombie apocolypses (apocolypsi?). And vampires. And what exactly is the difference between a zombie and a vampire? According to son #2 a zombie can see itself in a mirror. According to #1 husband a zombie is dead and a vampire is immortal. And the fact that I can still remember both of these salient points is proof positive that I still have control of some of my faculties.

Anyway, in the midst of this conversation I became distracted. By Toby. Who's been having another bout of itchy skin. And is now relegated to the bucket. Again.

And that's when I said something that no mother in a household full of adult males should ever say.

"I want to have a look at your scrotum."

The look on #2 son's face was priceless. The look on #1 husband's face was hopeful. The look on Toby's face was full of dread.

Need to remember not to act like someone who's had a frontal lobotomy.

PS - Toby's scrotum will be fine with a lot of TLC. And in the meanwhile the Cone of Shame acts as a handy bug catcher.

10 comments:

  1. HaHa - I can't even imagine saying "I'm going to check your scrotum" without the too clearing!!!

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  2. So in keeping with the title of your blog, I guess this event happened at say 36km in an undertrained marathon of life...

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  3. Third last paragraph had me spraying my coffee everywhere. Lol. Poor Toby :)

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  4. Oh dear, poor Toby! And I'm not surprised at the things you say anymore - but I am impressed at your being able to explain the difference between vampires and zombies, I've still got to get to that level of the motherhood game...

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  5. You do get a bigger and better class of bug down under - what the hell is that thing?! Wow.

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  6. One of those statements not to make out loud! Too funny.

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  7. I'm more concerned that you use the word scrotum enough that Toby knows what it means.... ;-)

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  8. Gosh, you need to get that checked out.

    Your poor boys. They ought to be used to you by now after three decades. Poor Toby! Cone of Shame again!

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  9. All the best to Toby. Interesting discussion about vampires and zombies. I have to ask for the opinion of an expert: my grandson. I will let you know.....

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  10. I had to giggle, but pray Toby is ok!!

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