Sunday, October 19, 2014


We put up a bird-feeder.

I've been enjoying all the birds that come visit my Mum and decided that I wanted to do the same so I talked Iven into creating a special birdy restaurant that would bring birds in from near and far. I got him to put it just out from our patio so it would be easy to refill and easy to see all the magnificent birds that came to call. And it's over-hanging a garden bed so if the seeds fall out of the feeder there won't be any mess. Genius - I know.

I had total faith that if we built it they would come. They haven't!

That was about four weeks ago and so far we've had two birds. A magpie.

And a dirty, great scrub turkey. 

Disappointment is an understatement for how I'm feeling. Especially when I go over to my Mum's and see her lorikeets and cockatoos and kookaburras. And even more so when my sister, who doesn't even have a bird feeder, shows me the pictures of the king parrots and cockatoos who regularly visit her. Seriously?!! There's free food on offer and the only takers are the underclass of bird society.

I personally think that the problem lies in the scrub turkey. I'm pretty sure that the other birds are staying away because he's there. Lording it over the feeder and taking out the best bits of the bird seed like the sunflower seeds and corn. So I have made it my life's mission to dissuade this bird from ever darkening our doorstep again.

Picture this. It's 6am and I'm just out of bed. Still in pyjamas. Hair sticking out every which way. Broom in hand. Screaming like a banshee while flailing said broom over my head. You'd think that would be scary enough to stop him from ever returning. It's certainly made the neighbours look at me with distinct mistrust in their eyes.

But not my fine feathered friend. Food trumps crazy woman in his world and he keeps returning despite my superior broom-twirling skills.

But I have not lost hope. My mother has had a similar scrub turkey issue and has managed to scare him enough so he's no longer scratching out her newly-planted annuals. And the method she used? She Bieberised him.

For those of you unfamiliar with the term, Bieberising involves a life-sized cut out of the (using the term loosely here) star and placing it strategically in the garden. Sort of like a scarecrow. Personally I wouldn't have thought that the sweet, young Justin - before the egg-hurling, peeing in janitors buckets and all the arrests wouldn't have been so scary to a bird that has a pea-sized cerebrum but this doesn't appear to be the case. 

The dogs, on the other hand have no fear of Justin. Both of them have peed on him. Which gives me a sick sense of satisfaction. 

So once my mother has finally gotten sick of having this in her yard I'll be putting my hand up. I just he's not that scary to cockatoos and lorikeets.


  1. I can't believe your mother put that in her yard - ingenious!

    As for the bird feeder... an aunt and uncle who live here in Hervey Bay have a number of feeders and the number of birds flocking to them is quite scary. The first time I house-sat (years ago) it freaked me out. It felt like something from the movie, The Birds.

    Maybe they just need time... (or they're slow learners!)

  2. HaHa - that is the funniest thing ever!!! I can't wait to hear if it really works in your yard.
    Sounds like you have some really cool birds around (if they come).
    My grandparents always had hummingbird feeders - so fun to watch them feed!!

  3. Good lord. You should put warnings on your blog. I innocently click on over, and I get Bieberized.
    Also, I think the scrub turkey is all manner of cool.

  4. OMG hilarious! I can totally see how the Biebs would be scary. You've got such beautiful birds. Let's hope they show up!

  5. I kind of like the scrub turkey!

  6. My phone ate my earlier comment, I think. The Bieberising certainly worked on me, I had quite a fright.

    For even greater effect you could put up this year's Bieber instead of little baby 13-year-old Bieber.

  7. I'm laughing so hard right now....

  8. OMG this is without a doubt the most fabulous thing I've seen this month. I need to find an appropriate occasional for Bieberising in my life ASAP.

  9. Finally, Mr. Bieber is getting a taste of his own medicine! Classic! And I'm impressed with your mum's forward thinking! :)

  10. Brilliant scarecrow. I could use one in my lounge room to get rid of hungover teenage boys! We get Mynah birds and Ibis which eat the cat food and scare other birds away. Magpies at least have a nice song. Try some bottle brush to get the lorikeets Char... not that I'm any sort of expert but I know they love it :)

  11. LOL this is really too funny! I should use a Bieber in my garden too. We have a birdhouse and we had a nest in it untill the big birds came and scared them away.

  12. I wouldn't go in my own house if it were Bieberized....I hope your mom decides to pass the reigns soon!

  13. That is hysterical. I would hate to have anyone going by think I admired him though with my life size cut out.


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