Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Sorry, Didn't Quite Catch What You Said

Since I was sixteen I've been a dog owner.

Sometimes a multi-dog owner. Sometimes a single dog owner. Sometimes a dog owner with a cat on the side. Or a bird. Or a mouse. Mice really - after buying into the ill-conceived notion that seeing babies born would be a learning experience for the kids. Sure they learnt about the birds and the bees but they also learnt about maternal cannibalism. They've never looked at me the same since.

Being a responsible dog owner (or at least I like to think that I am), I'm passionate about having well-trained dogs. Yeah, I let them on the couches and on the beds but that's my choice. What I mean by well-trained is knowing I can tell them to sit and stay and they'll kind-of listen if they feel like it.They'll generally behave on a leash (i.e. they won't pull me off my feet when I'm taking them for a walk). And they'll wait until they have permission to eat their dinner. They also don't chew the furniture. Or pee inside - except for Ricky but he's still a work in progress.

One of the things that we've taught Toby and Bubbles is to sit at the top of the steps patiently before their walk while the walker (usually Iven) goes down. This has been necessary to prevent broken arms, legs, backs or head injuries from being barrelled over by two dogs excited to have their walk. They sit almost twitching with anticipation until Iven says 'okay' and then they pelt down the stairs.

But the other day we found out that he doesn't actually need to say 'okay' to get the same reaction. In fact he doesn't even have to speak. Apparently a loud fart sounds a lot like 'okay' to a dog anticipating a walk.

Must stop feeding Iven so many cruciferous vegetables.

22 comments:

  1. Bubbles looks so much like my Celine. My dogs are well-trained except for the barking. Any tips Char? Both barkers are desexed males. We've tried everything.

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    1. I've never had to deal with a barker. Debarking operation? No, I wouldn't do that either.

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  2. I may have choked on my drink when reading the last sentence!!
    My dogs are mutts at home but when out in public behave like little angels (much like my children!!) I hate dogs who have no social skills.

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  3. If you lay off the cauliflower it also helps with the housetraining.
    Don't forget you're also a gecko and skink owner. And what about the rescued lorikeet?

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    1. Unfortunately that didn't end well. It just curled up its toes and died one day. There had to have been a reason that Bubbles caught him in the first place.

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  4. Omg, I think that's one of your best fart stories ever!

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  5. HA HA! Ah, I love having a dog now! He gets so excited when he gets to go on a run! His run dance/song is hilarious. And yes, I like having well trained dogs too. I just wish he'd just chill out a little more...like now...he's not hyper but he just wants to have someone throw something for him at all times if we are sitting down...he's just sitting here staring at us in hopes we will throw (whatever) the piece of pine cone he brought inside. Just a little piece and all he desperately wants is for us to throw it again and again. He will wait as long as it takes. I know, ramble ramble and totally off the topic of your post but it was nice talking dog to someone that likes dogs!

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  6. Bubbles is like that too. Can have the ball thrown to her all day. But these days she has two others to compete with and because she's old and has short legs she just gives up now.

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  7. LOL at their interpretation.

    Your dogs are more behaved than mine, she eats as soon as I put it in front of her (but she gets food twice a day and if she doesn't eat I put it away) And when we go for a walk ... well lets just say I'm lucky I haven't broken anything LOL

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  8. @Amanda: you have to keep ignoring that, you decide when it's playtime, not the dog. If I accidently put my foot against her ball she thinks we will play but we only play when I say so, not she.

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  11. In my town there are a lot of dog owners. Unfortuntely, those dog owners aren't always polite. I hate their behaviours: urine on our cars and tyres, escrements along the sidewalks, etc
    I sometimes remind them, the owners, that the town, and its sidewalks, streets and buildings, is a human environment.
    Anyway, I love all dogs!I

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  12. awh i totally agree! And my dog sleeps with me too at first. He loves to wrap his paws around me!

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  13. Hee, hee! Too funny. And reading this post makes me feel like maybe Tori isn't the best behaved dog in the world...

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  14. HaHa - glad that the dogs are so well trained/tuned in!!! Hope Iven made it down the stairs before the fart because I would hate to think he ended up injured thanks to farting!!!

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  15. LOL! I do hope he was all the way down the stairs before he let it rip!

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  16. Haha, ove this! Our dogs look as if they have zero manners but they are actually all quite well trained. 6 of them just look a little "messy". Ours actually leaves the room if someone farts, showing their disgust! :) I just wish they would leave before they fart...

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  17. I agree about being a responsible dog owner - training is a must! If I may brag, my little Jack Russell, Jig, is so well behaved.

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  18. Poor Iven! I'm not sure I could keep pets now. I think I've said to you that I grew up with dogs (not allowed inside though) and then my brother and SIL have cats but.... not sure I could cope with the commitment!

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  19. Definitely the best fart story I've heard in a while!

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  20. This cracked me up! The mention of mice and maternal cannibalism--- ah, good memories. And your description of well-behaved dogs--you could have been describing me!

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