The Perils Of Summer Running

I thought I was going to get away without saying it this year. I was coping fine. I was managing. I was keeping a good attitude.

And then it happened. Not that I'm actually sure what IT is. I'm sure a meteorologist could explain it accurately and scientifically. My take on it is that Hell opened up all its portals to let some fresh air in and some hot air out (which makes me believe that a lot of politicians are down there) and we've been left in conditions that resemble the bowels of Hell.

So I'm saying it now. I am OVER summer. I am so, so very, incredibly over all this stinking hot, humid weather.

Do you know what it's like running in the bowels of hell?? It's not pleasant! Imagine wearing a full length rubber body suit and running in a sauna that smells vaguely of frangipani, rotting mangoes and, if you're really, really lucky, decomposing possum that's fallen out of a tree, dead from heat exhaustion.

You sweat. Buckets. Bathtubs. Swimming pools of sweat. You leave puddles on the floor of coffee shops while you're ordering an extra hot coffee - which tastes like it's room temperature because the air temperature is extra, extra hot.

Because I've been wearing Run Amok tights almost exclusively on my runs - let's face it, I need to try to make these runs way more fun than they actually are at the moment - I've come up with a little issue that would really be an issue in sub-tropical, tropical and bowels-of-hell climate zones. My cotton undies are just not cutting it.

Cotton is not moisture wicking. Cotton has amazing absorbency. I sweat. A lot. And when I sweat, a lot, wearing cotton undies, by the end of the session I feel like I'm wearing a wet nappy. Ughhh! There is nothing pleasant about a sodden crotch.

So having endured too many uncomfortable runs, I decided to take matters into my own hands and go undies shopping.

It's not that easy finding exactly what you're after when it comes to underwear. Walk into a lingerie shop (or the lingerie section of a shop) and you're generally presented with lots of lacy little bits of froufrou or comfy, breathable (but not moisture-wicking) cotton briefs. And when you ask a sales assistant if they sell what you need, you're given a look of astonishment and a 'why are you running in this awful weather?' Yeah, hard to answer that question when you know that what you're doing is clearly insane to the general population.

I've had the odd suggestion that I try running commando. Umm let me think about that for a second. No! Never! I've seen way too many cyclists in tight lycra that's past its prime and let's just say they give plumbers a run for their money.

But after a comprehensive scouring of the shops at Indooroopilly I did come up with a possibility. A lovely nude pair of Sloggi briefs made of microfibre which the undies-lady told me should do the job. They also have no elastic in the leg, just this rubberised edging which is supposed to eliminate the dreaded VPL. Because I do lose sleep worrying if people can see my panty line - oh the horror.

So tomorrow they get their first test. I'll have my personal butt-checker on hand to make sure they live up to their claims of no VPL. And I'm hopeful that tomorrow will be a way less moist run than I've had to endure lately. Fingers crossed.