Cringe-worthy Moments

Cringe-worthy moments - we've all had them. They're those moments that you did or said something you desperately wish you could take back. But they're the moments that eventually fade into amusing anecdotes. Given enough time.

I have two stellar cringes.

Both were in my years of procreation. I found that all the niceties you'd been taught - to keep your knees together, to be modest, to keep your private parts private - go out the window when you're pregnant. You show bits of yourself, that you'd never dream showing in normal circumstances, to complete strangers. Who hasn't, in the throes of labour, offered to let someone check how far they're dilated only to find out that the person you were offering yourself up to was just there to do a quick tidy of the room and check supplies?

My first cringe-worthy moment was in my first pregnancy. I can talk about it now because it was over 27 years ago and time heals all excruciating embarrassment. I'd found a lump in my left breast. My doctor wasn't too concerned but wanted me to have it checked out just to be sure. So I went to my hospital appointment and was told to undress, put on a hospital gown and wait to be examined by an intern.

And I waited. And waited (it was a public hospital and a two hour wait is almost mandatory in a public hospital when you're basically naked). Finally someone came into the room and it happened to be a someone I had gone to high school with. Cringe!

I had to let him examine my huge, bovine breasts and as he was doing so, it dawned on me that he didn't actually recognise me. But instead of thinking 'phew, I've dodged a bullet there' I proceeded to introduce myself. Yep - I had to remind him that we'd been classmates just a few short years before. More cringe!!

And then his supervisor came in with a full complement of other students in tow to discuss my 'friend's' findings. Luckily I was allowed to cover myself up by then. It was decided that the lump was just a fibrous benign lump.

Being that it was a teaching hospital, that was a good moment for the supervisor to actually do a bit of teaching. He asked the group when would be the best time for surgery on a pregnant woman if the lump did need to be removed. There was dead silence. Until I piped up with an answer - the right answer, I might add.

I may have not had any dignity left but at least I could leave on a winning note.

My other incredibly cringe-worthy moment came in my third pregnancy. I was at ten weeks and I'd started to have some bleeding and cramping. It wasn't a lot of blood and the cramping hadn't gone on for too long but I knew that I needed to get checked out. So Iven took me up to the hospital.

They took me straight in and I didn't have to wait terribly long to be seen thank goodness. But once again the doctor that they sent in was one I'd gone to high school with.

Seriously??! How does that happen twice?

And this time was even better than the last. I refreshed his memory about our prior class-mate status in the middle of an internal exam. Again - seriously?? Who does that??? What a fun moment that was - reminiscing over the good old high school days when he was... well, let's not talk about where he was and what he was doing. But having said that, it was interesting to hear what some of my old classmates were up to.

So there you go - two of my finest! Over to you now.