Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Me? Crazy?? Absolutely!

As I get older I become more and more convinced that each of us have a little bit of crazy in us. I'm quite happy to admit that I have more than a little bit. I haven't decided yet if I want to call my crazy an eccentricity or if crazy sounds a little bit more fun. Either way this week's crazy has been making my life a little more challenging.

This week's crazy has to do with the little matter of a half marathon that I'm running in Sydney this weekend.

It's supposed to be a fun excuse for a weekend away with my first born and his girlfriend (who just happens to be studying medicine down in Sydney so it really wasn't hard to convince Sam to be my companion). Sam and I are flying down Friday. Hannah's meeting up with us and we'll spend a leisurely day on Saturday enjoying ourselves. Then Sunday we'll be walking a couple of blocks to the start of the race, running 21.1k, having a nice breakfast then back home to Brisbane.

That's the plan anyway. And on paper it looks great. But somewhere along the way my twisted mind has made it something to worry about. And I've been screwing myself up in knots every day so far this week trying to convince myself not to pull out.

I can't even pin-point exactly what I'm worried about. I've had issues flying before but not for at least five years. I've had some really ugly races in the past few years because of my testosterone deficiency but all that is under control now. So far this year I've run 20k at least 10 times and I've done even more 16k runs so I know I can do the distance.

There is absolutely no reason why I should be feeling this anxious - but somewhere along the way my body didn't get that memo and it continues to pump out copious amounts of cortisol and adrenaline and that's not what you want leading into a half marathon. Especially when they make you feel sick in the stomach. So much for carb-loading. But on the up side there'll be a few extra kilos that I won't have to lug around the course with me.

The thing that concerns me most is that if I don't get down there and do this thing, there's no way that I'll be able to fly to Melbourne for the marathon later this year so by hook or by crook I have to make it happen.

So my goals for this weekend are not time-related. My goals are to firstly make it onto the plane in one piece (not with my lunch left in a toilet somewhere). Then to get through Saturday without thinking too much about Sunday. Then finally to get to the starting line on Sunday morning. I know that once I'm there and we're running I'll be fine. And I know that once I've crossed the finish line I'll want to do it all over again.

See I said I was crazy!


  1. Don't want to bust your bubble but uuuummm that's pretty normal crazy in my world ;-)
    You said it yourself, its not the race that is the issue its the getting there. Sam will be with you and I think I'd be safe in saying he's going with or without you but rather with you I'm sure. Do whatever it is you have learnt works to get you on the plane ... maybe imagine the pilot naked?? ... I mean it works for public speaking so why not!

  2. That makes two of us because I've had those feelings too for long races (half marathon, that's longest I will ever run). The mind plays dirty tricks with us sometimes.

    I've been reading your blog for a while now and you are a huge inspiration to me. And from what I have been reading, I know that you will do fine if not great during Sunday's race.

  3. Wow - sorry you're so stressed about this, it really puts a damper on the week leading up to it. You know for the race you'll be fine, right? Have you ever tried cammomile tea to help you calm down? If you do a bag of cammomile for the calming effects plus a bag of fennel tea for the stomach calming effects, it might help a bit. Good luck, Char - I'll be thinking of you!

  4. I can so relate. I also can sit here and type breath, relax enjoy the moment. I do believe though once you are there and it's on it's way you will feel that peace you are searching for. Have a great time!!!

  5. Awww....sorry this is stressing you out! Fingers crossed you'll sail, er fly, through this with no issues and can enjoy the weekend.

  6. Come on a half is easy, well to run the dstance is easy, as you said you've run 20km 10 times already this year... So the only worry you is is speed and baby you know you are running fast.

    So go meet a couple of 1000 people and go for a run...

  7. I knew you were crazy!!..... takes one to know one :)

    Once you get to the start line, I'm sure you will be fine! Enjoy it!

  8. You can do it!!
    Just look back over how far you've come (with your health and training) these past months!!!
    You got this!!

  9. Hope you can relax and enjoy the run. You are so lucky to be going away with your son - especially if he's running it too? With any luck you can see it as a fun run rather than a race. Have a great time.

  10. Don't you dare pull out! You'll never forgive yourself if you do. You know it'll be fun and you can run a half in your sleep. Tell those jitters to settle. I'm excited for you!

  11. Oh man I hope you can over this and enjoy it. I KNOW you'll do it but I want you to have fun too. Lots of pictures please and eat what you want while there. You'll lose the calories through all your shaking.

  12. It all sounds perfectly normal to me!! I have to fly and get all worked up over it. You're going to do great and I'm super jealous you're heading to Sydney. Actually, I'm jealous you live in Australia. You can do this, you can!

  13. I hear you.

    Ok, here's what I do:

    Take a deep breath and think about how lucky it is that I can even do this. How wonderful it is to challenge myself to do something so intensely physical and mental. There is NOTHING like a race to PROVE you are ALIVE!

    This isn't sitting on the !)@#&% sofa and watching TV!

    Fast or slow, running or walking....I remind myself that what's important is that I savor every minute of it...easy or tough..rain or shine. IT IS LIVING SO, STFU, get out there, and HAVE FUN!

    Yes, I have goals and all that stuff..but it is easy to let that take front seat.. DO NOT!

    Carpe Diem!

    1. Argh I forgot to address your flying concerns. Hmm.

      I would bring lots of stuff to distract you: some nice foods to munch on, books to read, stuff to discuss with your traveling companion. All that will pass the time.

      It's only about a 1:30 flight according to google so not so bad, right?

      Going San Francisco to SIdney..NOW you are talking PAINFUL.

  14. Is Sam running with you?

    Just focus on how great you will feel after. Though I know that's no consolation.

    I can't wait to hear how much you enjoy it!


  15. Darling, you are not crazy as all those monster sized butterfly nerves are completely normal. Taper makes us crazy. Okay, guess you may be a bit crazy but that is normal. Take a deep breath. Visualize the finish line. Review your training. See how far you have come. Praise yourself for each step you have taken.

    But my secret, which isn't much of a secret, is that just before a race I put my running into bigger hands and just tell myself, I am blessed to be able to run this race, I will enjoy running this race, my performance in this race will be what it is to be, have faith, run strong, run happy! So yep, lots of positive self talk!

  16. You're ready and you can relax. Enjoy!

  17. I'm rooting for you Char! You are going to be fabulous! Take 5 minutes at a time, and if you can't do that take three, two or one! Keep looking up!


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