Friday, November 18, 2011

Today's Horoscope

There are few things out of bounds in my blog but today's post will definitely be in that realm if any of my kids are reading. So kiddies if you do not want to go blind or have your brain permanently messed with, SWITCH OFF NOW and go watch a video of a cat doing something cute on youtube.

Poor little dears still think they were turkey-baster babies or at worst we had sex (under sufferance) only three times and only to procreate.

So yes - today's blog is about sex. Or actually the lack of it. Funny thing happens in a long-term marriage (and we are heading up to 26 years - hold the applause). In the beginning it's all hot and heavy and frequent. Then the years tick over and life gets in the way of a good time. Sleep becomes more attractive and some books are just too un-put-down-able. Frequency diminishes and you find yourself thinking - hmm, when did we last ...?

That was the thought that ran through my head on Thursday. And being a bit short on things to do this weekend, I thought that I should let Iven know it was time to perform his conjugal duty. But I'm not the kinda gal who can just say "Hey Hon, I'm a bit bored do you want to get it over and done with for the month?" I prefer a much more subtle and alluring approach. And this required some thought.

The newspaper gave me my inspiration. No it wasn't the photo of Barak giving Julia a bit of a shoulder squeeze. It was the horoscope section. I always read my horoscope - not because I believe in it but because it's a way I can waste work time. I decided I'd try a false horoscope on Iven.

He got home from work and made me a cup of tea and sat down in the work room to share some companionable silence - except that I broke the silence.

"Hey, Hon I was reading your horoscope today and yours was pretty interesting. Seems that Mars is rising which gives good vibes for intimate relationships this weekend"

His ears perked up. The thought seed had been planted.

Next morning I went into the lounge room where Iven was getting ready for work. He frowned at me when he saw me. "I pulled the newspaper out of the bin and my horoscope said nothing about intimate relationships. It said I could expect a bill in the mail."


It's Saturday now. And all the kids are going to be out tonight. But all of a sudden sleep seems more attractive - and I have a really good book...


  1. Oh my totally crack me up!!! I definitely think I've held my applause long enough!! ::clapping::

    Enjoy your book ;).

  2. LOL!!!
    My son just came in to see why I was giggling behind the computer. Of course, I can't tell him!

    Here's a thought - in order to fit both horoscopes, send Iven a bill - to be paid in natura...

  3. This post is SO funny! You are very clever too...enjoy your Sat. evening.

  4. You are absolutely priceless. So what is your NEXT post going to be about? Your Sat evening ;-)

  5. Very funny! Who would think he would go read his horoscope from the day before?

  6. I can only remember my wife's usual quote: "You have always the same thought".
    Now the thought: is it the good book or anything else?

  7. I am laughing and applauding. Very well Written post. Looking forward to reading your Saturday Night post.

  8. Totally laughing. We've been married almost 17 years, so I totally get that.


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