A Boxing Day Conversation

Just wanted to share a little of last night's round-the-table dinner conversation.

I'll pre-empt it by telling you a little about my Mother first. My Mother is a lady. She's a devout Christian lady who has never sworn and frowns upon smut. She tried incredibly hard to bring up her daughters to be ladies but we just didn't quite make the grade. I blame my years doing veterinary science. When you're surrounded by blood and faeces and pus, and you have your arm up a horse's ar#@ - ooops, I mean posterior - it's hard to be ladylike.

We were at Mum's last night having Christmas left-overs when the conversation turned to the lovely bagels that I'd baked. I happily took the accolades before telling all assembled that Sam did some of the bagel kneading whilst wearing his birthday suit.

Sam took offence to this. His mother (me) was wrong again (as I frequently am apparently. He thinks it's early onset dementia. I know I'm perfectly normal but God is paying me back for all the times I laughed at my forgetful Aunt).

Anyway I realised that I was wrong (but don't book that room in the nursing home yet, Sam. The fact that I remembered eventually is encouraging) He wasn't naked during the kneading phase - he was naked when we were rolling out the snakes.

Poor Mum couldn't help herself. She tried to suppress a smile but her ladylike smutty mind got the better of her. But when my sister said she was relieved to find out that he wasn't naked during the hole-making phase, Mum just had to laugh.

So once again I have to apologise to you Mum for corrupting you. First it was Words With Friends (remember the wanker and porn incident?) and now it's smutty dinner-time conversation. I'll try harder - I promise!


PS Photos have been removed from this post for the sake of common decency. But I have included a video of Sam juggling his balls. (Too crass? It's hard to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.)