Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Where's My Medal?

I want a medal for today's efforts. It's now three days till Christmas and every single person who's left their shopping till the last minute has decided to shop at my local shopping centre. You know, the one that I go to every week day. Where I can sit and have a peaceful early morning coffee and do the Sudoku and crossword in the paper without distraction. The place where I can blissfully stroll unimpeded ... Well, that place has become a hellhole of Dante-esque proportions.

The parking wasn't bad. And that is the only positive I'll say about today's experience. My first task was to do my weekly shopping. I grabbed a trolley pushed it into the store and almost ran over a lovely, grey-haired nana who'd pushed her trolley in and decided to stop in the entrance. Good one Nana! Keep that up and you won't make it to Christmas.

But Nana was only the start. My path was blocked in every direction - wayward toddlers, wayward husbands and wayward dementia patients who had absolutely no idea why they were there (or at least that's how they acted). I started to go one direction only to make a quick dodge and slide to avoid fatal contact. By my fourth aisle I was ready to throw down my gloves and challenge the next impediment to my forward progress. "Cleaning Aisle in five minutes. Bare fists. No weapons. Yes, that walking stick does count as a weapon." I thought the cleaning aisle would be best if there was any blood - I'm thoughtful that way.

I finally made it to the end of my list and got to a checkout. I lied at the beginning when I said that there was only one positive in this shopping adventure. There were plenty of checkouts open so I didn't have to wait long. I could finally escape into the rest of throbbing, seething centre. I made my way up to have my coffee with my parents. We got around to discussing Christmas Day plans and apparently I'm hosting Christmas Day lunch. Might have been nice to know this before I did my shopping. It looks as though I'm going to have to face it all again tomorrow!!

PS I deliberately ran this morning to fill me chock-full of lovely, peace-giving endorphins. I chose to do a route that I hadn't done for a while and thought was about 12k. Turns out it was 15k, hilly (how did I forget the hills??!!) and it was pretty warm and humid (95%). If I did have any post-run endorphins, they were not strong enough. But my post-nap calm is upon me now and the kids are safe to approach without fear.


  1. I've got lots of medals you can have...

    PS as for the sand it was to keep us away from the TAXIs (if you have ever been to SA you will know what I mean)

  2. Hey Char, I've deliberately stayed away from the place. I have to teach a class on Saturday morning, but luckily it's the 8am one, so I should, with good fortune, get in and get out!
    Good luck tomorrow!

  3. I am cracking up that you call a "shopping cart" a "trolly" :). One day, girl, we have GOT to meet - I think we are pretty much two peas in a pod!

    I was a Whole Foods today and thought the very second I pulled into the parking log, "This is a terrible mistake." It was. And to make matters worse, I had to go back again later! Bleh.

    Nice job on that extra long, hilly run - yay!

  4. oh good thing you got loaded up on running endorphins before you hit that crazy crowd. We went to the mall on Sunday and it was NUTS. I hate crowds like that. makes me sick. I always come home crabby and disgusted with consumerism.

  5. I'm going to schedule in a run on Saturday before we have to go to the in-law's - one place where I absolutely need to stock up on endorfins ahead of time...

    Good luck with hosting everyone for Christmas lunch - and braving the shopping center one more time!

    Enjoy your weekend and Christmas day!

  6. I took both kids to the supermarket yesterday - nightmare. I was sure it would be my last trip before Sunday, but this morning we are almost out of breakfast cereal - aaargh!

  7. Going out this time of year is just crazy!! People forget how to drive and how to act in public.

    Hope you make it through round 2 today!

  8. I don't know if you have Black Friday there, but it certainly does nothing to reduce the number of last minute shoppers.

  9. Have a happy holiday season.....internet and credit cards are a great thing to "combat" the craziness of malls.

    Not that I'm bragging or anything...but I was done 3 weeks ago...embarrassing all male shoppers worldwide!!!!

  10. Your blog has been one of my fav's this year. Maybe the funniest one that I read! My all-time favorite comment was left by you when you told me what "hooters" were in your neck of the woods. I'm going to post on it in the new year. Best wishes in 2012 and thanks for all the great reads this year!

  11. You tell the best stories. Sorry to laugh at your misery, but you make it sound so funny. :)

  12. Run before and after shopping???
    Good luck with your shopping tomorrow. Maybe all the last minute shoppers will have been done by then.
    I so dislike shopping before the holidays - people turn into monsters.

  13. Running and shopping during the holidays. I think that the second is tougher.
    Here all the shops are crowded and just in this moment my wife and my daughter are making shopping (again!!!!)

  14. I need to start shopping and I think this just scared me away. I can't imagine what "town" will be like today.

    Looks like you have 3 sons? So do i :)
    A warm, humid day (on a beach) sounds perfect right now.

    Merry Christmas!

  15. I'm going to make you the humble shopper award :) lol the last days leading up to Christmas always seem to test our spirit~ it gets harder to remain joyous and bright. You had the right idea going for that run. I think that's why I've been so angry lately - lack of running.

    I can't believe that photo. and I also giggled at the trolley ;) lol


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