Wednesday, January 4, 2012

The Joys of Grocery Shopping

Sometimes a simple expedition to get the groceries just doesn't run quite to plan. Sometimes it inspires letter-writing to the grocery store manager.

Dear Mr Woolworths

I was in your store today - as I am nearly every single day because I cannot manage to organise myself NOT to run out of something important - and it came to my attention that SOME staff are in dire need of training. I am not talking about the lovely ladies that scan my groceries and have a chat about the meaning of life and other frivolities. Neither am I talking about the part-time boys who have the creativity to pack tomatoes with the 5 litre container of laundry detergent - that's all good, I'd forgotten the can of crushed tomatoes so this one worked in my favour.

The staff I'm referring to are the shelf stackers. Their incompetence was drawn to my attention today over a series of incidents.

I really didn't pay much attention initially when I picked up the apple off the top of the pile and managed to set off a mini-avalanche. I managed to hide the bruising on the three apples that hit the floor so some sucker - oops, I mean valued customer may still purchase these and be none the wiser till they bite into them and then blame their spouse for the droppage.

I felt a little niggle of concern when I picked up two blocks of butter and a cascade of cholesterol hit me on the toe. Don't worry, I'm not planning on suing.

Alarm bells started to go off when I reached for a tub of custard and they started falling even before I'd touched anything. (I'm pretty sure I hadn't touched anything.) I'm just grateful that it hadn't been the tomato sauce which would have made the blood so much harder to find when that old lady slipped in it. (I can't vouch for her not suing - she may need the money for her hip replacement surgery)

I didn't even dare walk near the eggs. And now I'm having to force feed my two hens in the hope that they will lay the requisite two dozen that we need to survive the week. Have you ever tried to force feed a hen? They don't like it!

And while you're dealing with that matter could I also ask that you fix the security system that goes off randomly, unexpectedly and unnecessarily when I pass through it. I have an aversion to being patted down by strangers?

And could you please fix that trolley with the wonky wheel that I always manage to pick out?

Your faithful and loyal (maybe) customer


disclaimer - some of the events described above may have been exaggerated for effect and some may be totally fictitious.

I'd like to say that I'm generally not a clumsy person but today I was having a doosey! Everything I touched seemed to have an extra-strong gravitational pull. I'm thinking that maybe the 10k morning run may have made me a little tired. Needless to say I'll be walking into Woolworths a little sheepishly next time. (which will probably be tomorrow because I think I'll need eggs)

And could you all keep your fingers crossed for me tomorrow? I have to go for a pelvic ultrasound and this involves fasting for 6 hours and drinking a litre of water an hour before the procedure then holding on for dear life. I have had three children naturally and we all know what that can do to a girl's pelvic floor. I'm really hoping that they run on schedule - you can't keep a full bladder waiting surely?!


  1. Oh no! - good luck with the ultrasound and especially the prep leading up to it - hope it all goes well!

    Thanks for the tipe on Australia as a possibility for December - with the cupcakes and all it sounds mighty enticing!

  2. Good luck with the ultrasound! I sympathize with the "holding."

  3. Funny as usual! Thanks again for morning laughs.

    Hope the ultrasound goes well and good luck "holding".

  4. They still have Woolworths in Australia? Wow, I think almost all went out of business in the States.

  5. Oh I have had those days at the grocery store!

    Good luck with your ultrasound.

  6. oh Char! We are on opposite sides of the world and yet we are both having quite the week. Can't wait to see wht happens tomorrow. Thinking of you and your bladder. YOu might want to wear some thick undies just in case. Or some of those diapers for women. ha ha. :)

  7. Good luck with your ultrasound! Looks like sneezing, giggling and laughing will be off limits during the whole process! :D

  8. LOL that is so funny....and true at my grocery store as well. WHY CAN"T they stack things properly?? and I wish you luck tomorrow girl :) I know everything will go ok! Keep me posted xoxox

  9. The apple incident is priceless. Makes me feel better when I do the same!

  10. I have read the last post one minutes ago, so I am glad that you are ok.
    Funny post.
    2 days ago I sent a letter of complaints to a running store for the prices too high even if I have the "fidelity card". You won't believe but yesterday I received their apologizes and the commitment to get back my money.


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