She had the history that the locum had written down but there were some questions that she wanted to ask for herself. Like whether my extremities are colder than my core (yes) and how long I'd been unwell for (on and off for two and a half years). She also wanted to know more about the nausea. I told her about the lactose intolerance and the, ahem, wind issues. But it was her next question that left me a little stumped.
She wanted to know how my farts smelt! Did it smell bad or was it odourless? How does one put into words the quality of one's flatus? Yes, sometimes I can clear a room and other times it could pass unnoticed if not for the trumpet herald. And if I said I liked the smell would she think I was vain? So many things flashed through my mind but I found it hard to verbalise an answer.
But having had time to ponder the issue I've decided that the question was a self-protective mechanism. Her intentions were to stick needles into my abdomen and I guess she was just wondering if she was going to have to don her World War 1 gas mask and crank up the incense. Or maybe she thought that if she used a wide-bore needle and attached tubing and a bottle she could have a barbecue that night. Or maybe she wanted to know whether it smelt like methane and if so she'd snuff out the incense all together.
I've taken a lot more notice of my 'odour' this week just so I can report back with some accuracy. And I'd like everyone to know that it smells like jasmine and gardenias. I'd also like to say that I AM vain and I lie occasionally.
I really think that the acupuncture is helping, though. I have had way less days where I'm nauseated. My energy levels seem to be a little better. But best of all my running has been very encouraging. Today I did the route out to the uni, around the duck pond and back home. It's an undulating route with a bit of a hill on the return. I've walked that hill every time I've done this run. But not today. I ran all bar 200 m of the 10k. It was slow - 1:06 - but the last time I did that route it took me 1:17. That was only two weeks ago. And to prove that I've improved, there was only 1 beat difference in my average heart rate.
It's an incredibly slow process but I'm seeing results.
And the final good news for the day is all about my little baby. Toby has mastered the down-stairs!! I left him upstairs yesterday when I went down to my workroom and he came and found me. That's two flights of stairs and an awful lot of courage.
We've discovered that he has special healing powers. Josh brought over a friend the other day who was feeling a bit down and after a puppy hug he was feeling a lot better.
And Josh has also discovered that he's a great way to get attention from girls. Just put up one of these pics on your profile and see what reaction you get.
I've always wanted to give acupuncture a go... Your post might just be the push I need! But I will be sure to go in armed with a detailed description of my 'toots' :) Thanks for the heads up LOLReplyDelete
Okay, once again you kill me with your post! Glad I read it before my last run - nothing like a good giggle to kick off a workout :)ReplyDelete
The puppy is toooooo cute - made me smile just seeing his picture!
What an adorable little fuzz ball!ReplyDelete
I love acupuncture and swear by it. I really hope it works for you--this would seem to be an ideal type of illness for it. And, one of my best friends is an acupuncturist. I am meeting her for coffee tomorrow, so I'll ask about the farting questions!
That bottom picture of Toby sleeping is to die for! Puppies and kids sleeping - can't beat it.ReplyDelete
This was one of your funniest posts yet and you've had some pretty funny ones. Let us know about next week if the fart smells conversation continues.
Oh, fart, how do I smell thee, let me count the ways!ReplyDelete
How the heck can one describe fart smell???
Guess what I am going to be thinking of for the rest of the day. Thank you so much! ;-)
Could you send Toby this way for a couple of days?
I have a friend who does acupuncture and feels fantastic because of it. I hope it works for you. Toby is such a cutie! So glad he is bringing joy and laughter to your home.ReplyDelete
Good grief. You don't have to be poo and fart obsessed to be a runner, but it definitely helps. If someone asked me that question, I would of course claim that I don't fart.ReplyDelete
Great to hear you're progress with running. You're being very sensible and patient, good luck!
Oh geez, what a question. I hope the needling works wonders.ReplyDelete
Here's to continuous progress.
Yay for Toby!
Too funny. I was not expecting that question from her either. But since you brought up the farting issue, I'm glad you told me more about the smell so I wouldn't have to ask or wonder.ReplyDelete
This post was probably funnier thanks to a female writing it. Guy farts are a lot more standard and expected.
HaHa...ah do say, that's funnyReplyDelete
Oooh, the pup is adorable!ReplyDelete
The acupuncture sounds interesting. I haven't quite reached a point where I'm willing to try that yet...
Ah, the curious chinese lady, what a question!ReplyDelete
Your posts are always fun.