Thursday, February 2, 2012

Scattered Bits Of Randomness

It's been hard to put a new post together - my thoughts have been so scatty lately. Could it be that running is the only thing that's warding off dementia?

I totally forgot to buy bread yesterday. I'm going to be sacked from my job of Super-Woman. Seriously, who forgets to buy bread?!! Especially when they're the sole food purchaser for a family of four hungry males. There was some very unhappy campers in my house this morning. Personally, I would have thought that bread could be substituted - we have other foodstuffs in the fridge and pantry. Bacon and eggs. English muffins. Two minute noodles. Muesli. All are perfectly adequate breakfast foods (except maybe the two minute noodles - but when you're desperate ...). But apparently they take too long to prepare when you're tired from staying out clubbing till 2am and need to be at work by 9am.

Yesterday I couldn't manage to do basic maths. I've agreed to bake brownies for the up-coming running camp (the one that I've had to pull out of because I can't run, can't kayak, can't walk for longer than an hour). I wanted to find out how many I needed to bake so I could buy the ingredients. There's going to be just over 60 at the camp so Coach Chris and I worked out that I needed 5 dozen. I had a mini, internal freak-out that I'd agreed to do such a big order. An hour later I remembered that each batch of brownies is 2 dozen so I only have to do 3 batches. Mini-crisis averted but there were self-recriminations about the depth of my stupidity.

I went for a walk yesterday evening with Bubbles - the dog with the 6 inch legs. I'd been talking to my sister about our walks the previous day and told her that our pace was about 12 mins per kilometre. She was astounded that we were so slow. I reminded her that I wasn't supposed to be breaking any land speed records at the moment but it tugged that competitive cord in me so yesterday I, stupidly, picked up the pace. I learnt something really important - Bubbles is a great walking companion for me in my current condition. Her top speed is 11:30 per k and if we try to go any faster there's dragging involved.

Once again I had runner's envy of the worst kind yesterday. There's a long gentle descent towards the end of our walk and I had this wild urge to just cut loose and run down it. It's just as well I had Bubbles there to restrain my baser nature. I can only imagine how bad it would have looked with my running wildly down the slope dragging my dog behind me on her belly because her legs had given out.

Once I got to the oval next to my house the runner's envy hit another high. There were dogs running around chasing tennis balls. I've decided that in my next life I'd like to come back as a dog with long flappy ears and the waggliest tail. Then everyone would be able to see just how joyful running makes me. I would bound along with those flappy ears waving behind me in the slipstream that I'd created chasing that green tennis ball until I got distracted by a bird over the other side of the field and then my owner would have to spend half an hour chasing me. (Yes, I'm that dog - the one that's had no obedience training. Actually, I had two weeks of lessons before the instructor asked my owner not to bring me back. Puppy school fail!)

And my final chapter of this random blog belongs to novelty soaps. I was given a cute cupcake-shaped soap for Christmas and the other day it was forced into use. (Yes, I forgot to buy soap as well as bread). While lathering myself up with it in the shower I was compelled to contemplate whether the designers actually intended for it to be used on the human body. Those little brown bits on the soap were more abundant when I pulled it out of the packaging. They were also more sand-paper like - possibly intended for exfoliation or dermabrasion depending on the enthusiasm of the lathering. In fact they were so coarse that, had I had a tattoo I could have saved myself the expense of laser removal. And the shape of the soap is far from ergonomic. But I will say that there are parts of my anatomy that have never been so clean thanks to that mound of 'icing'. I have put soap at the top of my next shopping list ... in capital letters and highlighted!

Has anyone else done anything totally screwy/scatty/without engaging what little grey matter is left? Is this a side-effect of not running?


  1. No bread? That's like having no food at all in the house. LOL.
    What kind of dog is Bubbles? I have a Rat terrier that runs pretty good with me on short runs.

  2. Just tell your male household you're going gluten-free and thus the no bread issue. From now on every morning - eggs!! :)

    Yeah, I remember in my running hiatus (remember that fiasco??) doing some of the stupidest things...not that I stopped doing them now that I can run again, but it just sounds better to blame it on lack of running endorphins! Hang in there girl, you are still awesome. And squeaky clean and exfoliated! :)

  3. You don't need bread in the house, we use so little bread it is kept in the freezer!

    I feel for you not running, my wife is in the same boat (ok she still runs 5km every 2nd day.) But she is worried she will get fat and I will leave her (like that will happen) so she cycles 20min on the trainer every day and then swims for 45mins!!! BUT she would rather be running...

  4. Sorry to you sounding so sad ... I really feel your desire to be a dog :-)
    At least you still make good cupcakes!

  5. Oh, I feel for you having the runner's envy. Been there too often and it's not fun.

    On the brain side--just chalk it up to aging! ; ) Seriously, I do that kind of thing all the time. Not pretty!

  6. No bread? I cannot have lunch without bread, if so I put frozen pizza into my oven.
    I would like to be a dog too, but "owner" of a beautiful house with garden to share with nice and discreet humans.

  7. Looking forward to reading that you've been for a run soon. That cupcake soap looks disgusting!

  8. I would blame everything on no running. Can't be anything else. Good luck with the brownies and may your return to running be soon.

  9. Yes Im pretty screwy/batty even when i am running. Don't even wanna think about how crazed I'd be if I stopped.

  10. I love bread....and must have it on hand at all times....or i make yeast free loaves....full of cheese ;) only b/c I never pick up any yeast :P

    I love bubbles you should run with him (?) and I can't run right now. hip gave out limping all day :( we can not run together and complain about how much it sucks. Can't wait. you bring your dog I'll bring the wine

  11. Hope you're feeling better. Hang in there!

    I think the functioning of our home would grind to a halt without bread.

  12. I'd come back as my dog in a heartbeat. I can take bread or leave it..... Like coach Dion, mine usually ends up in the freezer.

    Great post!!!


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